


Count

by Existentiall_Crisis



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: D.I.C.E - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi has a Panic Attack, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi-centric, POV Oma Kokichi, Panic Attacks, Post-Game(s), Saihara Shuichi being awesome, Self-Harm, Songfic, The Author Regrets Everything, blink and you miss it - Freeform, danganronpa - Freeform, 🤣
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24524020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Existentiall_Crisis/pseuds/Existentiall_Crisis
Summary: HecantbreathehecantbreatheThis is how it’s supposed to be right?OrKokichi has a panic attack, shuichi helpsA SongFic
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 128





	Count

**Author's Note:**

> READ NOTES
> 
> hey! Thank you for reading. It’s better if you listen to the song as you read
> 
> https://youtu.be/kZarhJk_tVA
> 
> “Count” by Lottie Hartnack

_ He wears, long sleeves, baggy clothes,  _

_ keeps his eyes locked on the ground _

Kokichi never put much thought into what he wore anymore. The classic white outfit he usually wore was strange to say the least. Of course he got comments on it before, but Kokichi was always one for the dramatics 

**“I’m not boring, am I?** ”

_ Hides his face, no one knows that his world is falling down _

The checkered black and white scarf draped around his neck. He didn’t need it, but it felt weird without it. He can’t let them see

_ Once queen bee, but then his crown fell _

_ He had no enemies but his self  _

Dice, that was something he took pride in. Their little group of tricksters were the first thing he had to a actual family. However the group disbanded when Kokichi made a wrong call.

They are all dead now 

** “I’m kokichi oma! Ultimate supreme leader with over 10,000 members” **

Why is he remembering this now?

_ So he counts, _

_ Five seconds, breathe it through, then you'll start to count again _

His breath’s were erratic, when did this happen? when did he get in the bathroom? He was confused about so many different things. Count, you need to count. That was something Shuichi always says to him when this happens, That he did remember 

_ Four seconds, count the reasons why today is not the end _

Ever since the kill game things have been a little bit crazy. They got their memories back, he remembers Dice 

** No he doesn’t want to remember **

They should be here, not him 

Right?

_ Three seconds, breath _

Breathe, he needs to breathe

_ Two seconds, doubt _

He thinks of the killing game, Shuichi survived it along with Harukawa and Yumeno. He was glad. Wait killing game?

He thinks of the hydraulic press

It’s coming down on him and he can’t move. 

The fresh poison in his veins that is slowly killing him is preventing him from moving 

** Oh well **

_ The last second filled with pain, don't you dare give up now _

Shuichi, he wants Shuichi. Though he was actually being useful, making a living. When he and Shuichi first rented this apartment together after the killing game he was excited. They could help each other.

**Shuichi is always gone anyways, it doesn’t matter**

Where is he again? The bathroom, that’s right. He feels the sink under his fingers. He’s looking in the mirror

_ He had, the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face, and perfect smile _

_ Perfect diet, always at the gym to run the extra mile _

He thinks of Shuichi, he really was the perfect person. Unlike him who couldn’t get it together in a small clean smelling bathroom. 

** Count count count **

_ He was loved and admired, by all that he knew _

_ Always helping and giving, never nasty or rude _

After the killing game, Shuichi did everything he could to help everyone, some times to his own expense. _He’s gonna burn himself out_ , people would say. Their admiration for him grew nonetheless 

** Who are you again? **

_ When he looked into the mirror, that's not what he'd see _

_ Wish he could smash the looking glass and be free _

Shuichi was a role model for a lot of people, he survived a killing game and successfully lead everyone through class trial after class trial. Kokichi tried, He really did! His efforts were swept under the rug because Kokichi Oma isn’t Shuichi.

**_ he’ll never be. _ **

_ Five seconds, breathe it through, then you'll start to count again _

He’s crying now, Kokichi still can’t seem to catch his breath. 

** Hecantbreathehecantbreathe **

_ Four seconds, count the reasons why today is not the end _

The bathroom seems to be getting smaller and smaller, the walls are falling in on him.

** Maybe that’s for the best **

_ Three seconds, breath _

He needs something, anything

He feels dizzy

** Searchsearchsearch **

_ Two seconds, doubt _

His fingers brush up against something in his search for something to help

Something that would make him feel better

** Ah, so that’s where he hid it **

_ The last second filled with pain, don't you dare give up now _

The cheap piece of steel laid in his hand

He promised he wouldn’t do it. 

But he needed it

** Slice  **

** Slice **

** Slice  **

_ Five seconds, breathe it through, then you'll start to count again _

his vision is starting to become spotted.

He can’t tell if it’s because he can’t breathe or the blood pooling down

** Best not to know **

_ Four seconds, count the reasons why today is not the end _

His attempt to calm himself down was futile, if anything it had made it worse.

That’s what shuichi says, it will make it worse if he does it. 

He’s gonna be disappointed in him

_ Three seconds, breath _

Shuichi, He needs him. He can’t breathe  **cantbreathecantbreathe**

_ Two seconds, doubt _

Anything happening around him he can’t see. Kokichi is clinging onto the sink to keep him up.

His mind is going 100 miles per hour

He can’t seem to keep up

** Don’t make me remember **

_ The last second he found strength to pull himself back out _

Strong arms wrapped themselves around Kokichi 

It grounded him a little 

But also caused panic to rise because the touch happened abruptly

** He’s confusing **

_I know sometimes you feel like you can't make it through_

“Kokichi, it’s okay, I’m right here”

It helps

_ I know sometimes you feel like nobody would know If you just disappeared,  _

“Honey, you need to breathe okay? You’re okay”

Kokichi didn’t know what to do. He can’t let him see him, he’ll be mad.

But he likes him being here

_ I know you feel alone _

_ But you can't have a sunrise without the night _

Kokichi tried to squirm out of his grip

“No, Don’t look at m-me!” His voice was shaking

“Kokichi, okay I’ll close my eyes, take a look? it’s okay, These things happen. I’m not mad.”

_ You're getting stronger every day, you have to fight _

_ So don't you dare let go before you see the sun _

“You’re so strong kokichi, you are doing so well. You gotta breathe hun”

_ Your time's not done _

_ Five seconds, breathe it through, then you'll start to count again _

“Count, it’s alright” shuichi said gingerly

Kokichi was holding onto him like he was his life line 

“Yeah that’s it, in and out” 

_ Four seconds, I can promise you today is not the end _

“You’re here with me Kokichi, not there. You never have to be there again. You got this. I’m so proud of you.”

_ Three seconds, breath _

“Breathe with me” shuichi put kokichi’s hand on his chest so he could feel him breathing.

“I c-can’t” he hated the way his voice cracked 

He can’t even do the simplest things

“Yes you can, come on I know you can. In and out with me. You got this, breathe okay?”

_ Two seconds now _

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. Can you name five things you see around you?” Shuichi asked 

Where was he? The bathroom, right

_ He’s already said that  _

“A s-sink, tooth paste, towel, cloth, soap” he did it, that’s something 

His mind isn’t as hazy anymore. 

_ The last second you found strength to pull yourself back out _

He’s on the floor, shuichi is holding him.

He wants to stay like this. So they do. 

** Your time is not done  **


End file.
